“Be who you are, not who you want yourself to be.” – Kimberly Ann Johnson
At first, I was like STOP THE BUS!!
I was triggered and defensive.
I don’t want to be ME! Anything but that. There is definitely a better version of me out there somewhere.
At any given moment I could be telling myself a myriad of stories about who and how I am as a human – mostly unhelpful, judgemental garbage that are remnants of wounded or activated inner children.
After all, it’s easy for a successful woman like Kimberly Ann Johnson to say that to others.
Maybe one minute later after the flood of triggers whooshed through me. I reread it again. And damn, this woman is on to something!
Doof! Right to the heart.
What it actually feels like she is speaking to is the larger conversation around what is acceptable for a woman – how she shows up in this world. How she is conditioned to be. These things feel even more pronounced if you’re a woman of a certain age (which I am!) and a shout out to the BIPOC community who are likely to have this doubly hard..
Who I am RIGHT NOW – not some future version of myself that has been pounding the gym relentlessly who now has a killer body or the version that has ‘X’ amount of dollars in the bank or the version that lives in a house with a white picket fence and roses, but ME in all my messy glory is good enough.
Actually, it’s better than that, IT IS WHO I AM and it’s not all of who I am, but a snapshot of who I am.
And thank fuck I’ve got a partner to pick me up by my scruff whenever I stumble. I know that’s not the case for everyone and I thank my lucky stars everyday for his support.
Who you are is so much more than the tiny glimpse that you often define yourself from.
We are whole complex packages.
I’m guessing you’re like me sometimes too, where there are moments of feeling like a future version of yourself must be better than who you currently are. That ‘you’ must be in a better place, have a better life etc. Maybe you even have a whole fantasy life built for them and how they are better.
The big question I leave you to wonder about is what do you need in order to live from the you that is currently here? What supports you to be who you are RIGHT NOW?
Loving the current you,
Jamie
P.S. Inner Relationship Focusing is one of the most profound tools I’ve used to help me be with the me that is here and also tend to all the little me’s that should have been cared for differently.
P.S.S. I also think it’s worth mentioning I’m a huge fan of Kimberly Ann Johnson’s work and am grateful we have women out there doing the work that she is.