The 5 best tips for Sexual Intimacy 2022
If there is one thing we can take away from 2021 it’s that we have plenty of room for improving our sexual intimacy. The Natsal-Covid study reported that 78% of cohabiting couples saw a change in their sex lives, for the worse.
I don’t think anyone wants a repeat of 2021, if not at least for the catastrophic effect it had on our collective sexual mojo.
To help you usher in a more saucy 2022 here are my top 5 tips to keep things sizzling with your partner(s).
1. Role play + Dress up
I know this might sound cheesy, but hear me out. When we introduce novelty, mystery, the unknown and adventure into our relationship we are fanning the flames of sexual desire.
There are many different ways you and your partner can indulge in this type of game. Some simple questions to help you create a hot scenario are: Who do you want to be to each other? Where will this scenario take place? Do you need any special props or outfits? When will you do this scenario?
This doesn’t have to be complicated and you can definitely work with the things you already have at home. Some scenarios ideas are: be a maid while your partner is a rich business person from Rome, police officer stopping by to check out a disturbance reported by the neighbours, play a secretary or personal assistant, be a plumber called to a rich tennis pro’s house. You can be as cliched or creative as you like with the roles. Make it fun. Choose made-up names, professions, and clothes. One important point is to stay in character throughout. Take your time to be in the roles and elongate the play scene for maximum effect.
I’d love to hear some of the roles you play!
2. Tell your partner your fantasies about other people
This can feel edgy and can bring up feelings of insecurity. However, when done in a container that feels safe for you both it has the potential to create juicy times all around. First, let’s normalise attraction. It is completely normal to appreciate the beauty, splendour and handsomeness of other humans. It’s also important to note that attraction doesn’t mean anyone is taking any action. This is a practice in naming desires, owning your own sexual fire and sharing it.
A way to make this feel less edgy is to begin with celebrities – people you are unlikely to ever meet, so therefore no threat to your relationship. You might begin by telling each other when you find someone hot in films. The next level might be while you’re out and about pointing out people you find attractive. You could even go so far as to say how you’d chat them up. There’s no one shoe that fits all here. Keep it light, playful and even a bit adolescent in your attitude. The way to keep this feeling hot is to always communicate with your partner if you feel an edge about something they’ve shared. Keep it about your feelings and share what you need from your partner to feel more comfortable.
3. Get risky – public sex
Life is far too short to not get jiggy in “inappropriate” places. Our sexual desire thrives on the elements of danger and risk. I’m not suggesting you throw all caution to the wind, but can you sneakily grope your partner in while at the beach? I might be stating the obvious here, but just to reaffirm that by public sex I don’t just mean penetrative sex. There are all sorts of ways to play sexually with our partners, I’m simply suggesting take it outside of the home.
4. Stop to kiss often
Kissing can be the gateway to feeling more deeply and passionately connected to our partners. When you’re out and about, stop your partner in their tracks, pull them to you and give them at least a 6 second kiss. Through decades of research, The Gottman Institute says a 6 second kiss is long enough to create a moment of true connection between you and your partner. Do this often. Do this everywhere – the grocery store, while out on walks, while doing mundane household chores, while stopped at a red light in the car. This signals to your partner that they are desired and wanted. By feeding the element of surprise you’re also placing deposits in your desire accounts.
5. Discover your Erotic Blueprint™
Each of us has a unique pleasure map, which helps us understand our turn-ons and turn-offs. If you’re feeling mismatched sexually with your partner you might just be speaking different erotic languages. The Erotic Blueprints, as featured on the Netflix show Sex, Love & Goop, can also add another layer of spice to your intimate life. Take a few minutes to take the quiz here and of course if you want a deeper understanding of how your blueprints play out in your relationship you can try some Erotic Blueprint coaching .
Sexual intimacy isn’t something that just happens in a relationship, it requires dedication, effort and a willingness to stay curious about our partners. These 5 tips are great springboards to creating more saucy, gooey, heart-pounding and connected times with your partner.
What would it take for you to feel a deeper level of richness and connection in your relationship?
Get in on The Relationship Dojo’s foundational course to begin reclaiming the most powerful version of your relationship. Blue Belt, the essentials of connection, communication and coming together begins Thursday, March 17. For more details and to register click here. Spaces are limited.